Funny Shit: Jokes

The Young Whipper-Snapper (TYWS) took MrsYWS to the races one fine Sunday. There they met Maury, an old Army buddy of TYWS.
"Hey! Maury! How's it goin?" says TYWS.
"Cool enough," says ...

10) Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names. Name one after your roommate. Separate your roommate's potato from the others. Wait a few days, and then bake your roommate's potato and ...

Once there was a blonde who really needed some money. She saw an ad in the newspaper for a job at an Elmo factory. She went down and applied, but the manager told her that she wouldn't want the job ...

A blonde walks into a hardware store, and is looking for a new television. The store assistant approaches her and says, "I'm sorry madam, but we don't serve blondes." So she goes home, has a breast ...

1. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises wearing their most revealing underwear.
2. If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing ...

There was a blonde driving down the road listening to the radio.
The DJ was telling blonde joke after blonde joke
until the blonde was mad enough she turned her radio off.
A mile down the ...

A woman who had been twice married and divorced was fed up. Her first husband was violent, and her second husband ran off with another woman.
Plus, she couldn't find a new lover who could satisfy ...

George comes home very late, and very drunk, and his wife is waiting for him at the door. She says, "You've been out f*cking around, haven't you?"
He says, "Nope."
She says, "Then explain ...

This is the private diary of a Viagra housewife...
Day 1
Just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary with not much to celebrate. When it came time to re-enact our wedding night, he locked ...