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Funny Shit: Jokes

Really Funny Jokes

Random Funny Jokes

A couple of redneck hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are rolled back in his head.
The other redneck starts to panic, ...

Some newly married friends were visiting us when the topic of children came up. The bride said she wanted three children, while the young husband said two would be enough for him.
They discussed ...

A woman awakes during the night, and her husband isn’t in bed with her. She goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appears ...

Kung Chow called his boss and said: "Hey, boss I not come work today, I really sick. I got headache, stomach ache, leg hurt, I not come work."
The boss says: "Kung Chow I really need you today. ...

The bartender asks the guy sitting at the bar, "What'll you have?"
The guy answers, "A scotch, please."
The bartender hands him the drink, and says "That'll be five dollars," to which ...

Two cowboys are out on the range talking about their favorite sex positions. One says, "I think I enjoy the rodeo position the best."
"I don't think I have ever heard of that one," says the ...

A man went into a pharmacy and asked to talk to a male pharmacist. The woman he was talking to said that she was the pharmacist and that she and her sister owned the store, so there were no males employed ...

An old man and his wife go boating on the river one day. When they reach a fork in the river, the man asks his wife, "Up or down?"
His wife immediately takes off all her clothes and they spend ...

A man walks into a pub with an ostrich to his left and a cat on his right. He orders a pint of beer for himself, the ostrich and the cat.
The cat shouts "I'm not paying for this round, I'm ...